Transcript of: Supervillains Anonymous

Panel 1

Mister Austerity: Hello, I'm Mister Austerity and I'm a supervillain. I got picked on in high school so I lifted weights and bulked up to get revenge on the bullies, but eventually I realized that it wasn't really about the revenge - I just wanted to be a bully myself! So I've been violently assaulting people for about ten years now, and I can't seem to stop. Guess that's why I'm here.

Panel 2

Lady Thunderkill: Hi, I'm lad Thunkerkill. I used to be a super HERO - Lady Thunder - but people kept calling me "Lady Thunder Thighs" and it was reallly getting to me and then I was on the Conan O'Brien show a few months back and he made this comment about me having "thighs of steel" and everyone was laughing and y'know I just kinda lost it and I ... vaporized the whole audience. So, yeah - that's pretty much when I became a supervillain

Panel 3

Steve Parsons: Okay my name is Steve Parsons and I'm kind of here under protest. Personally I don't feel like I have a problem. I mean, just because someone likes to occasionally tunnel into Fort Knox doesn't necessarily make them a supervillain. But last night I get home and all my friends are there to stage an intervention, so I figured I'd at least humor them and come to this meeting.

Panel 4

Groper: Hi, I'm the Groper and I've been a supervillain for 29 years because I have giant hands and I like bums.