Transcript of: The metaphor's new clothes

Panel 1

Narrator: The emperor has not clothes (though he thinks he is fully dressed). The villagers feel like they should really say something, but they remain silent as he parades about town. e.g.:modern art, religion, M.Night Shyamalan

Panel 2

Narrator: The emperor is dressed in the bare minimum of clothing. Because he's not actually naked, the villagers feel they're off the hook for having to say anything-despite this unfortunate display that is contrary to what an emperor should be. Besides, the only other guy willing to be emperor is stark naked and probably insane. e.g.:The democratic process, dating, marriage

Panel 3

Narrator: The emperor has no clothes, but he's so tiny that, y'know, what's the difference? the villagers just kind of pity him more than anything. e.g.:the Amish, polka music, david icke

Panel 4

Narrator: The emperor has no clothes because he was too stupid to get dressed, and he goes around waving his genitalia in people's faces - daring them to complain. The villagers know there's not point in saying anything, so they just wait for him to leave. e.g.: George W. Bush, Nickelback, Fox news.

Panel 5

Narrator: The emperor has no clothes, save a bandolier, and he periodically fires into the crowd. Nevertheless, he continues to receive gifts and dinner invitations from neighboring emperors who are supposed to know better. e.g.: Saudi Arabia, China, Don King

Panel 6

Narrator: The emperor clearly has no clothes - and he knows it. But he's not pretending to have clothes, and he plays to the crowd, who appreciate his honesty. e.g.:William Shatner, Adam West, the CFL

Panel 7

Narrator: The emperor is an irritating wiseass who thinks he can walk into any establishment in the land because technically he's not infringing on the "no shirt no shoes no servie" policy. The villagers are unamused and they pelt him with rotten vegetables. e.g.:Saturday Night Live, Bill Maher, Ned Holness

Panel 8

Narrator: The emperor is actually fully dressed, but the VILLAGERS are a bunch of insecure assholes who spend all their time accusing him - and each other - of being naked. Most of them have no clothes. e.g.: Libertarians, pitchfork media, the online "community."